The Catechism of an iRevolutionist

It the first sunny day in LA for a week- people have begun to come out hiding, to recharge themselves, as if covered in solar panels to come back to the world, to continue their lives and learning here in south central.  Sitting in my political science class after having just spent an hour discussing, and ranting over Nechayev’s “Catechism of a Revolutionist” we commenced to a short break -so that the true revolutionaries of the class could  stew outside, and continue their rant while puffing on their cigarettes.

For those of us who do not inhale cancer we remained glued to the chairs, attempting to catch up on any messages or news we might have missed in the past house. So saying,  screens on the laptops in front of me immediately jumped into action, as if on cue, to the first news, technology site available, revealing photos of Steve Jobs, holding a rather comedic like piece of technology.  Immediately the tittering* ensued..”oh my god, like have you seen it? it looks like a giant i-phone…oh my god, (twirls hair with pencil) like no way, thats not cool, its way to big to fit in my hand, OMG, but you can rot your brain with all its games and 10 hour battery life..LIKE WAY COOL…” (now you know why I’ve used OMG to grab peoples attention to my blog) About half an hour ago Steve Jobs just announced Apples newest gizmo – the iPad-. holy hell…something slimmer and cooler to make all those other laptops feel fat enough to think that they must get on that slim-fast diet again, and actually start working so as to please their owner and not end up in the bin….

Considering the last 24 hours I’ve spent reading up on the revolutionaries of the world for various classes- the most recent being Sergey Nechayev, a rather fun individual..I wonder is the arrival of this newest sliver of technology, the spark, the modern Molotov cocktail, into the world that we know or, did know today? Is the ipad..our generations revolutionist? According to Nechayev, a revolutionist must destroy all- tear apart all that is filthy, all that is not titanium and 2 inches thick-  everything that is around it so as to start society over again. It is supposed to get people to start reading again, but not on those things which cause global warming, newspaper or books but on a screen which, just makes you itch to multi-task..Its a person with ADHD’s dream.

But, also the dream of the Revolutionist when the current society will implode….Apple is slowly bringing the world closer to that day. They are both the anti-Kant, ant-Rousseau, anti-stability, anti-lets just think this over and not rush into it. Even the French are scratching their heads at where it is supposed to go in their life…”Liberté, égalité, fraternité….tablité? Ne vous occupez jamais….Et Viola! Enter the iPad, “boom”..there goes the two piece laptop, “boom” there goes whats left of the desktop, “boom” there goes the smartphone- Blackberry, Palms etc, “boom” there goes the Kindle and “boom” there goes conversation and the ability to straighten ones neck or fingers ever again.

Sweets, drinks, anything which is sticky will be taken off the shelves, houses will be padded so as not to allow for any possible damage to the device, and while we’re at it you might as well put a straight jacket on so as to stay with this world just a few more minutes. Otherwise let yourself rip….”boom”… I say again, OMG. The Revolutionist says, ha ha, da, horosho, success! Erase the capital “I” and let there only remain “i”…you laugh? I joke? well we shall see…me thinks I joke not.

I see the iPad as the revolutionist so described by the Russian madman, Nechayev, who saw everything around him society, politics, men, women at the mercy of his beliefs, people who were either destined to join the cause, to be used for the cause, or to die being the cause…there is nobody as conscience, powerful, devious, intelligent than the revolutionist..i mean iPad….i mean Apple….i just mean..i.

For me it is not that we are moving forward with technology it is how, people have already begun to question the need for this new toy – what will it provide us that we dont already have already…carpal tunnel in our necks? The same way that the masses responded to Nechayev, even his fellow revolutionists took a step back and set themselves apart from his radicalism. The question we should ask is do we really need this? Why do away with what is not broke? Why change a system which is one of the very stable ones which we have in our lives right now?

Finally, I leave you with this: the revolutionist will put himself and his beliefs before all…himself before himself…what better re-branding of a revolutionist than to rename him…iRevolutionist…irest my case. iwiedersehen.

*for those not adept to the British language, titter is defined: to giggle, to gossip, to converse in a silly manner. Basically what people do to one another in the non virtual world.

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